When you want something and work toward it you usually get it, no problem there. But what happens when you want something so badly, something that seems out of reach, that you become desperate and your heart aches and yearns for it? That’s when that ‘thing’ starts to get in your way and not only does it interfere with your life in a negative way it can effect your ability to enjoy the great things you already have.

But it gets even worse than that. You can become so desperate to get that one special thing that it begins to warp your entire perception of reality, you wouldn’t be able to see if it was already within your grasp. Now that’s a problem! I’ve been there my friend, it’s a sucky-yucky-icky place that I really want you to be freed from.

Breathe…

Back up for a second here. Is that ‘thing’ really so important or have you fed and nursed a small thing into a raging monster? A friend of mine once told me that she knew in her heart of hearts that she wasn’t ready for a relationship, and yet all she could think of was getting a guy, it ate at and wore on her until eventually she gave up and just took whoever (or whatever) would have her. It broke my heart.

If you’ve taken stock of your situation and honestly believe you are not ready to receive that thing you want so much. Then you have to do whatever it takes to get your mind off of it. I know it’s hard, I struggle with these things every day, but one way or another I make it through each day… like a recovering alcoholic, we just have to take one day at a time.

Work on You

Yeah I know you’ve heard it all before, but just because it’s a cliché doesn’t make it any less true. Sometimes simply keeping yourself busy with work, friends, hobbies, volunteering or whatever else you can throw yourself into, is the best way forward. Time usually weakens the hold that ‘thing’ has over your mind and heart.

Desperation leads to frustration and anger and loneliness, so it’s really something you want to get away from and the sooner the better. Hands down the best way to do that is to build yourself up so you realize that you don’t need that ‘thing’ as much as you thought you did.

Turn to Someone

Find someone you trust to pour your heart out to. That could be God, or a mentor, or a close friend. Find someone who can relate to what you’re going through and give you some perspective. They might just give you that one bit of advice that will help you make a break through and start to unwind from all the tension. Then you’ll realize that even if you still want it you don’t need it to be happy.

Additional reading: Changing It Up Without Forgetting Who You Are and Simplicity of Direction.